Got My Mojo Workin'

Ahh the vintage guitar phenomenon...

Why is it that most guitarists and collectors these days are lusting for high dollar guitars that look like their histories might include previous action as scratching posts for lions? Or maybe some might contain some leftover shrapnel embedded deep inside the guitar body as a result of a mine explosion somewhere deep in Vietnam in the late 60's. Especially with Stratocasters, the boys over at the Fender Custom Shop are reeling in the bucks by simulating years of use and abuse by means of a very meticulous manufacturing process, creating wear on their "relic" models down to a tee, specifically where it would have occurred naturally: along the contours and edges due to arm rubbing and dropping, above the pickguard due to overeager strumming, and along the back of the body due to belt rash. Sometimes relic models even go so far as to replicate cigarette burns earned in late night drunken club gigs.

So why would anyone ever pay extra for these models that appear to be not-so-gently used but come with price tags that might otherwise indicate a finish of solid gold? I'm going to answer this question trying to sound as little as possible like an elderly, overweight blues guitarist with a cigarette and whiskey in hand...... but the answer is it's all in the mojo! That's right, I just said mojo. You might ask yourself what exactly that is, and if an exact answer is what you're looking for, stop. It's just a certain charm a guitar gets to it, usually acquired after being nicely broken in, becoming a smooth playing work of art with resonance to die for. Some might say it's when you don't make the guitar speak, but rather it speaks to you. Regardless a guitar without mojo is equivalent to a preacher without a soul. Now, as to whether or not this sought effect can be had by means of a manufacturing process, that is to be debated. I prefer to buy a guitar that suits me and let it gain its own battle scars as I play the bloody hell out of it, but who knows, maybe my opinion would change if I could afford these holy grails of storytelling guitars instant-made in an assembly line.

Correct, some fanboys with too much pocket change pick up relic models for the come-see-how-good-I-am-my-guitar-has-no-paint-because-I've-been-playing-so-long effect. But some aspects of the relicing phenomenon have their technical benefits as well. Sanding the back of the neck isn't always to make it look like you've been playing so long that the finish has worn off. A sanded neck is more quickly and easily maneuverable than one with a heap of gloss finish. And rolling the fretboard edges makes playing much more comfortable than waiting for them to smooth over with time. Nitrocellulose finishes also resonate and age much better than standard polyurethane finishes.

However, the vintage obsession expands as we even treasure our iconic guitar slingers and their prized pieces enough to replicate their wear and tear. Many guitar gods have absolutely beaten their favorite strats over the years, showing traces of the past, carrying on a little legacy from every famous show the artist has ever played. Just look at artists like Stevie Ray Vaughan and his prized "Number One" strat which he has been quoted as saying he holds closer in life than his wife. And then there are others such as Eric Clapton and his "Blackie", or Eddie Van Halen and his "Frankenstein" strat. These stars' legendary guitars were sent into limited edition replica production runs, fetching prices up to or over $25,000 a pop. Worth it? Maybe to some lifetime fans and collectors. Except to me, manufactured mojo makes little sense, and paying extra for a replica of someone else's self-created mojo makes even less. I feel I should add that I once had the opportunity to personally touch an EVH Frankenstein replica guitar (price tag: $25,000), and the electronics jiggled around in the body. Now, not to piss in the cheerios of any EVH strat owners, but there is a point at which aesthetics overtake functionality, and I think this breaks it. I don't understand the concept, but maybe I would if I had $25,000 to spend on a guitar that is best suited as a wall ornament because it's a little too beaten up.

The vintage craze is an unstoppable American obsession. It's not just guitars; look at those cool distressed jeans with the frayed cloth and tiny rips that you might have paid a little more for at Abercrombie. Or that brand new Mustang you might have bought, designed after the ones from the 60's. And people have paid top dollar for antique furniture for decades. It's not just taking place in the world of guitars, and by no means am I knocking the Fender Custom Shop for doing what they do-- they do it well, and the work is nice to look at. And by no means am I knocking anyone with a relic strat-- I'm sure it's got all the mojo in the world. Okay, so maybe I'm knocking a few people who might have bought the Eddie Van Halen strat for 25 grand, but I couldn't write something about relic guitars without knocking someone.

Anyways, I've said my part, and maybe I'll post pictures of my guitar a few years down the road when it has lost its paint as a result of sitting atop Mount Everest after a short stint at the bottom of the Atlantic. And maybe I'll try to be less of a cynical brat next time I post. The first two are setting a trend....

-Mark

The Evolution of Modern Music...

.... and the devolution of talent?

The surf music of the 1950's once faded out as the iconic changes of the 60's took place, bringing into the public eye many young, talented guitar-slingers and songwriters; there was Hendrix, Clapton, The Beatles, Zepplin, The Grateful Dead, and that's just one genre. People embraced the music. Popular music was a self-evident genre: music which was popular at the time-- as opposed to its modern definition, which if defined by example would make one cringe at the nasal, almost prepubescent voices nearly shouting over generic, highly produced backing tracks composed by studio musicians. There was once a time where rock music and pop music could be defined by either term without sacrificing its integrity by falling under the latter.

Unfortunately that time has passed. Today-- let's face it-- the vast majority of pop and rock music quite frankly sucks. We've gone from the poetic perfection of Jimi Hendrix's "The Wind Cries Mary" to the staggering genius of Blink 182's lyrics in "Blow Job". It's all quite disappointing really. Don't be mistaken, the rock star attitude and concept of live band music have not nearly disappeared (though they may have come close in the Nsync/Britney era). These rock star essentials are still very much present. Unfortunately more often than not, it's the talent-- the X factor that is missing. Bands take their nice Gibsons and Marshall stacks, crank the volume, and belt out the loudest, power-chord ridden, bitter lyric bound excuse of a song, accompanied by screaming voices and light shows designed to produce a widespread distribution of seizures as a weapon of mass destruction, all concluded by a violent "sacrificial" display of aggression in the destroying of anything on stage that is of monetary value. Catchy? Maybe. A dime a dozen act? Absolutely.

Don't get me wrong, people probably thought the same thing about Hendrix and The Who when he lit his guitar on fire and they smashed their instruments respectively at the 1967 Monterey Pop Festival in front of a mixed crowd of innocent hippie girls and acid-crazed junkies. The difference is, I can't picture anyone remembering the majority of today's musical artists in the way that musical icons of the past have been. Something is obviously missing from modern music, and it will take a musical revolution to fix it.

Musical devolution is often associated with the hip-hop/rap genre, and I doubt the direct correlation. Since its creation rap has experienced its own high points and downfalls. There were the originators, the innovators, the men with messages. And then someone discovered the profitable machine that is known as most modern rap, where record companies find a decent looking face, throw him a catchy name that hints at a vague trace of street cred, and pump out a new, overproduced song with accompanying dance illustrated by a cheesy, yet expensive music video. These songs linger around in the dance clubs for a few months at a time, with song after song sharing a beat vaguely separated from the previous, and people eat the music up. Sorry to all the club goers (I don't go to clubs expecting to find lyrical genius either), but at the same time it is this kind of music that gives modern hip-hop such a negative view. Songs about supersoaking hoes and two-stepping (a Soulja Boy reference for those of you who haven't stepped foot onto a college campus lately) just don't hold much water. Once again, the rap/hip-hop genre is still cranking out its fair share of talent. But these artists are overshadowed by more profitable music like the artist aforementioned, similar to how young prodigies in the blues and rock world are overshadowed by large, profitable names.

The infectious disease that is the slow-burning destruction of music is not confined to any specific genre. Jazz and blues are weening away, rock is an excuse for what it used to be, and rap is becoming an excuse for music in general. Those who come close to the ranks of the past's greatness by means of channeling their influences are shunned as replications of dead or dying icons. But if you're going to do something totally original, make it worth listening; otherwise I'll stick to the so-called copycats who come close to hitting the spot that those so long ago once did. So this is the part where I beg more artists to bring us listeners music we can listen to and come away with something. I know from experience that being an artist is not easy; I'm basically asking you to throw out a piece of your soul so I can devour it with my ears to cure my exponentially expanding thirst for something great. Someone bring us a little closer to the evolutionary side of things in music. Otherwise we'll be single-cell organisms before we know it.


-----------rant over.


-Mark